Just as narcissism and antisocial personality disorder ,psychologists say that ,entitlement is a personality disorder. Bringing up such a controversy might awaken sensitive arguments among impassioned enthusiasts but well, our culture germinated it and we have to deal with it. This is one of those juicy topics that one is tempted to bring up during a coffee date. Well, you can just have a tip of its iceberg because friendship entitlement is a whole unit ,vast and never immune to criticism.
When you ,or a friend in your circle beliefs that they deserve privileges ,recognitions or favors because they are your friends or because you are their friend ,you or they feel entitled. like the friendship owes them something in exchange to nothing or everything should somehow benefit them.
As in infants and childhood experience ,it’s normal to feel entitled because kids wholly depend on their parents or caregivers for averagely everything .The problem comes when we adamantly carry this trait to adulthood. Having expectations of other’s to provide for them in one way or the other for our needs and wants without being directly involved in self care role leads to self entitled mentality. Friendship is a give and take affair. Lest we forget that expectations is the mother of disappointments.
I tend to guess that entitlement is no less than ego. Let’s take a hypothetical case of Reeves and Renee who are friends, So during Reeves birthday party ,Renee expects a special treatment during the party than everyone else because she is Reeves best friend. On the other hand, Reeves expects Renee to surprise him with an expensive gift besides posting him all over her social media pages. Both demands here are unreasonable to some extent. This friendship is tightly holding to friendship entitlement. They are unknowingly or knowingly weakening their friendship thread by creating resentment, inadequacy, unreasonable demands, feeling of imbalance and unfair treatment among themselves. A gap between their fondness is gradually but surely emerging. If they realize this toxicity and decide to ignore, they will be brewing this on their superiority complex .Anything unhealthy is not good for your heart mind and soul.
In friendship, people can demand their fair share of what they feel entitled to in a more mature and sophisticated ways. The pampering of the modern mind has resulted in a population that feels deserving of something without earning it. A population that feels have a right to something without sacrificing for it. This is our undoing. It holds many back from achieving their full potential. It may discourage some from helping their friends. I once read of a friend who housed her college friend for a whole semester because she could not settle her bills .Surprisingly, when she got her finances right ,she moved out and had the audacity to bad mouth her kind friend for always preparing sweet potatoes for breakfast. That is all she could remember, not gratitude. Maybe you can help me understand what was wrong with having sweet potatoes for breakfast. Sorry, I just forgot that beggars are choosers ,please remind me. I was wondering what could have happened if they would be going without anything for breakfast. Evidently, this miss had nowhere to turn to at that moment and this friend was kind enough to welcome her to her bed sitter for a month or so when she had no where to turn to. After all said and done ,she is referred to as inconsiderate and uncultured
Sydney J. Harris says :It is surprising how many persons go through life without over recognizing that their feelings towards themselves, and if you are not comfortable within yourself you can’t be comfortable with others. Some relationships may look like true friendship ,but with time, you might find out that the friend is someone who tries to control or manipulate you .Manipulation has never been attractive and can never be. Maybe to politicians. Friendship entitlement is to some extent a natural sentiment and we have portrayed this behavior some point in our everyday friendships and relationships with others. Like any other trait ,a corrective action can be set.
A sense of entitlement can be easily mistaken as natural and healthy but this is venom, a green snake in green grass. A malignant and shadowy form of self love. It harms people around us in the long term ,your social life is not safe either. This toxic mindset makes people to fail to understand that other people do not merely exist to serve their wants and needs. This is a passive and aggressive disregard to others. It diminishes the motivation to put in extra effort. Ever come across people who want to be different from others but when they realize that they are indifferent, they provoke negative responses in those they encounter?
Friends telling you how you should feel instead of accepting how you truly feel or accusing you of being too sensitive or taking things too personal is a controlling behavior. Fun is so personal and your definition for fun is as unique as you are .If they are threatened by the fact that you do things differently and accuse you of being not so a good friend ,they are suffering from inferiority complex. Respect is when you have the right to make decisions independently and they are not threatened that you might do things differently.
To overcome a sense of entitlement, new behaviors ought to be learned and constantly practiced, they make them perfect and easy to incorporate them with everyday life. This includes being yourself. As unique as you are, doing what needs to be done not because you expect a reward but because it is the right thing to do. Since we cannot change the past, do not live in it. Don’t forget to treat your friends with respect, compassion and gratitude.
This has been an interesting blog to cover. I have shared my thoughts based on personal experiences and as always, your opinion always matter as we thrive to come up with better experiences on how to nurture better relationships here at lelstyles.com .You can always write to us though our contact page firstname.lastname@example.org